[UPDATED] This week in China: Repent! The End is Nigh!

[UPDATED] This week in China: Repent! The End is Nigh!

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Repent! The End is Nigh!

This week the staff of China Economic Review spent most of their time digging out a bunker in the southwest corner of Fuxing Park and stocking it with canned goods and whatever weaponry was available for sale at the town’s assorted gun clubs. It is indeed looking grim out there, what with US markets plummeting, Chinese boards following them down, and domestic consumer price inflation hitting 6.5%. If there was any remaining doubt that the Beast is set to rise from the seas forthwith and unleash plagues of locusts, pus-filled boils and focus-group coordinators, real estate giant China Vanke announced profits from home sales were up 5.9% in the first half. Hail Satan!  

Uncle Wen is urging global cooperation, of course, calling for citizens of developing and developed economies alike to join hands in wailing and gnashing their teeth. Chinese citizens are calling on Beijing to abandon the greenback, somehow, and maintain a controlled exchange rate by selling off US Treasury bonds and buying euros. Wait, not euros, that’s a terrible idea. Some other instrument. Bolivars? Kinas? Cowrie shells? In short, hysterical babble has become general along the front, and the only ones who seem to have a plan are the hooded youths busily tweeting London to its knees. Is there nothing to be done? Not in the long run, of course, but at present it seems the best hedge against the End Times is to invest directly in the coinage of hell and buy shares in Chinese real estate developers.

[UPDATE] As if there were any doubt as to the truth of my investment thesis, this morning we have a report that a real estate developer in Shenzhen released 50 kilos of poisonous scorpions into a residential complex to drive residents out in order to make way for a new development project. Alas, the company does not appear to be listed.